sweetest downfall

(elli blazer, mink pink mini dress, f21 tights, ysl palais pumps, chanel bag)

"the strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift, it's in the burdens he carries. the strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice, it's in the gentle words he whispers."

- unknown

i smelled my dad in my friend's car on the way to church today. turns out they wear the same perfume. alas, i spent the next twenty minutes in the car recalling ever so strangely the first time my dad had complained about his declining stamina to me. prior to that day, i've always thought that my dad was as close as it gets to a superhuman. he couldn't fly or read thoughts, but he performs magic with his hands and scissors. he often stands on his worn- out feet for long hours, aiming for perfection with people's hair as his canvas. to top that, he still managed to swim or jog every morning, follow a strict diet, and look so cool in couture. he was perfect in my naive eyes. i remained quiet because i didn't know how to respond, as listening to his complaints was the last thing on earth i thought i'd do. to this day i regret not saying something comforting to him. he must be scared of the suddenly darker future, of having to question his own capability. i wanted him to know he could lean on us a little and not pushed himself so hard. i swear it was at the tip of my tongue. instead of being upset to find out that his perfect image was nothing but an image i created myself, i was glad to finally see the real man trapped inside. while his words were what i remembered first, they weren't what i remember most, for i'll never forget seeing the face of an exhausted man who's worn out by time, admitting- perhaps for the very first time- that he's just a human afterall. i'd never be able to say this as clearly in my mother tongue, nor would he ever be able to understand, but my dear daddy, if ever you feel like you could no longer go on, i want you to know that i'll be there to take the baton from your hands and whisper to you the two words that took me forever to say: "it's okay."